Gratitude

It happens all too often that we get so caught up in what happens in everyday life that we forget what we have, where we came from and where we are now.  Ill be the first to admit the day to day life struggles of balancing my family needs, idiots at work (putting it mildly), scarfing down 10 pills a day thanks to health issues, trying to keep up with the latest disasters in the world and you know self care (whatever that means) makes it pretty difficult to stop and smell the roses. It’s easy to get caught up in everything that’s going wrong and everything that makes you want to crack open the bottle of wine, crawl into a hot bath and ignore everything that’s happening in the outside world.  This world that’s full of hate and people that have lost their damn minds, financial stress and everything else that makes adulting feel not nearly as gnarly as you thought it would be when you were a child.

We go to work, take care of kids, loved ones, clean, pay bills, watch TV, go to sleep and wake up the next morning and do it all over again. Almost like a revised version of the movie “Groundhog Day.” But there’s one thing that gets lost in the shuffle.

Gratitude.

Gratitude not only for the journey but the destination.  Thankful for the struggles as well as the triumphs.  Grateful for the lessons amid the pain of how we learned them. Grateful for who and what we’ve lost as well as what we’ve gained.

I can look back on those times as a child, an adolescent and in my roaring 20’s when I was lost and depressed as well as some fun times that I will never forget.  But through it all I am a much stronger person now than I was then. I have more resources and a strength of self that was a mere shell back then.  As opposed to beating myself up for not fitting in, I applaud my uniqueness.  I am not like anyone else and thank God for that.  It’s difficult to have people understand why I am the way I am but at the same time I stand steadfast in the person that I have become.

I’ve achieved things I didn’t realize as a child I wanted to achieve.  I’ve seen places that before only existed on television screens and in the depths of my mind.  I’ve met people that are so unlike me that we have found a strange sense of commonality.  I’ve loved, I’ve lost but more importantly I have sustained and thrived.

Not everyday is a win.

Not everyday I wake up and think “wow, it’s a beautiful day, I’m so happy to be awake and alive.” But I do recognize and cherish that everyday is another step forward in this crazy journey of life I have ahead of me.  I’m going to continue to get knocked down, but I have more confidence than I ever have that I will get back up.

I’m grateful for it all and look forward to what is to come.

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